Moving on.

This blog is not the place to chronicle the long journey ahead of me. This blog is for things that I have made, done, seen, enjoyed. Thank you for taking a look and reading these last few posts - the knitting has commenced, and forward is the only direction I can go from here.

 I write this with a heavy and broken heart today. Our daughter was laid to rest yesterday, having passed away one day shy of turning four months. Reading the previous post almost comforts me, knowing that nothing was ever taken for granted with bean. This picture was taken the night before we lost her.

We know that there are no words to ease the sting; we know that nobody knows what to say. And thankfully, almost nobody can say that they know how we feel. We all know that life is fragile and temporary, but when faced with a light that was extinguished so quickly, every moment seems more precious. We are thankful for every day that we had with her, and as I was reminded by a family friend this week, she never had a bad day. She was happy and bright, and in our biased parental view, perfect. And if anything good can come out of this, please find a renewed love and appreciation for your kiddos, whether they're your children, nieces or nephews, godchildren, students, or just someone else's kids in your life. We thank you for your thoughts and prayers in these difficult days.

Time flies when you're having fun.

Or when the sleep deprivation makes distinguishing one day from the next a little more difficult. It's been over three months since the bean has made her way here. The change that has happened in these three months is absolutely mind-boggling. She's got personality now, we have long talks, we crack each other up. I can't imagine how I got along without her. She's one cool kid so far, and I can't wait to see what's in store.

The best part of becoming a mother is the new focus I have on everything. Nothing else matters anymore. This little peanut is the center of my universe. I was always someone who would sweat the small stuff; she has made all the small stuff in my world vanish. I have never been so at peace with myself and my situation. I totally get why parents can never stop talking about their kids - this is the most fascinating, amazing, miraculous, incredible experience, and every day takes all those emotions up one more notch. 

There's a wee bit of knitting taking place - I started a Rhinebeck sweater, fully intending on finishing it in time to wear it to *this year's* NY S&W. We shall see. Pictures (taken with the new camera) coming soon... 

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